Talk Like...... What????

Recently, the hubby had the Bromancers (his entourage. If you don't get the reference, SIGH) over to watch a totally uninteresting sports event. It is my job to cook, smile, and act like the super perfect wife that I am in my head, and I take great pride and pleasure in doing just that.
Another part of said job is entertaining the female companions of the Bromancers. I use the generic term "female companion", because 99 percent of Hubby's friends are not married, just in various stages of shacking up and self delusional compromise. Therefore, I feel that if these gals are going to be putting up with all the shyt that they do without the leverage of divorce court, custody battles and alimony payments on their side, they are just cheap enough to warrant a generic label (oops, there she is again!).
I can feel myself veering off the road to stand on the old "Self Worth / Crisis in the American Family" soapbox, so let me get to the point of this post.
On this night, there was only one companion to tend to. I like this gal just fine, but she gets a bad rap from the Bromancers. They say she doesn't know when to shut up.....
Anyway.....!
So my sons are all over the place, and Buzz Lightyear (the three year old) is chatting about whatever it is that he talks about to anyone who will listen. So then, Female Companion turns to me and says, "Wow, your boys are so cute! Tell me, how do you make them talk like that???"
Aw... Hell..... Nah....
Verbal abuse and throat punches are sure to follow.
SOMEHOW, I resist the urge to curse her out. I smile and say, "What do you mean? In English?"
Then she goes, "You know, like you. All white and stuff. Your mom was my lawyer when I had my accident, and she don't sound nothing like you."

Yes, she does. Its called switching, if you didn't know. But still.....

The guys are quiet now, and I really want to stab this chick with a plastic fork, but I take the high (HA!) road and say, "I guess its because my mom sent me to a good school where they make you speak the language. You know, this way of speaking has its benefits. When I call customer service, I'm never put on hold. Plus, when I have interviews, I always do very well. Plus, the fact that my children and I have normal names means our resumes wont get thrown in the trash so we can get into said interview. What about you?"
No response.
SO THERE.
I guess I should have called this post The Inner Bitch, Part 2. She had it coming, though.